


holding my breath like a baseball bat

by nevernevergirl



Category: Runaways (TV 2017)
Genre: Coda, F/M, Missing Scene
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 04:27:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,409
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20203711
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nevernevergirl/pseuds/nevernevergirl
Summary: Chase just watches her as she talks, but he has the look he gets when he’s listening. He’s been trying really, really hard to listen to her when she’s like this, and it’s kind of amazing even if he’s not great at it yet. It’s also kind of terrifying and upsetting in ways that are too overwhelming to think about, so she’s just been kind of shoving it down.After breaking into Atlas, after Eiffel, after the failed attempt to get her meds, Gert and Chase talk. 204 missing scene.





	holding my breath like a baseball bat

**Author's Note:**

> Written for Gertchase Appreciation Week, day 1: missing scene. 
> 
> Going to try my best to fill all the prompts for this week...I got a little behind with writing, so I might be late on a few, but I'm trying to get back into writing for these two!

It takes Chase 13 minutes to finish helping Alex haul the hacking computer in and get it set up before he comes back to their room. Gert knows because she timed it on her stupid burner phone when she was waiting, so she could focus on the time itself rather than all the dumb thoughts she could think during it. 

“What were you doing with Eiffel in the bathroom?” she blurts. 

That takes her roughly 15 seconds to get out. She doesn’t time it, but Chase barely has time to walk through the door and get his shoes off. He stumbles out of the left one and looks up at her confusedly.

“What?”

The thing is, it’s not necessarily what she meant to say—her stupid brain has been playing everything that happened in the past few hours on an endless loop, and that’s just what he happened to walk in on. 

And he looks so genuinely thrown, in a puzzled way and not a Did Something I Shouldn’t Have with My Ex kind of way, and Gert feels so, so stupid for even asking, and  _ then _ she feels stupid for feeling stupid because her feelings are  _ valid _ and Chase is still looking at her, confused and concerned.

“Um. At school,” she mumbles, tucking a piece of hair behind her ear. “When I went to find you and Alex, he said you were getting a key, and then you came out of the bathroom with Eiffel.”

Chase frowns, taking a step forward. 

“Gert,” he says, so gentle and understanding that she sort of wants to die. He sits down next to her on the bed, leaving maybe half a foot of space between them. “We just took a selfie because she thought it would get a lot of likes on Instagram. Alex wanted to get into the computer lab, and she stole a master key forever ago.”

Gert closes her eyes. She believes him, and, logically, she kind of figured it would be something like that. 

She nods. “Yeah. Okay, that makes sense.”

“Gert, nothing happened—”

“I know,” she says, cutting him off. 

“You sure?” he asks, skeptically. “I really wouldn’t—”

“I  _ know _ ,” she says, emphatically, shifting a little to face him as she searches for the words to explain. “Really. I don’t think I ever really thought that, but it’s just like...my brain knew it  _ could _ be freaked out, so it was.”

He just watches her as she talks, but he has the look he gets when he’s listening. He’s been trying really, really hard to listen to her when she’s like this, and it’s kind of amazing even if he’s not great at it yet. It’s also kind of terrifying and upsetting in ways that are too overwhelming to think about, so she’s just been kind of shoving them down.

That probably won’t always work, but for now it does the trick. 

“Going back to Atlas was kind of freaky,” he says, after a long moment. Then he sits up a little straighter, a panicked look on his face. “Not that I’m saying I get what you’re going through. I know it’s not the same.”

She reaches for his hand. He laces their fingers together, loosely. “I know what you mean. You’re not wrong,” she mumbles, shrugging.

“You tried to go back for your meds,” he says, quietly. She cringes a little.

“Yeah. That was kind of dumb, huh?”

“No,” he sighs. “I mean, going off by yourself without telling anyone and almost getting caught wasn’t your best plan,” he says, but he squeezes her hand, and she manages a small smile. “But it’s not dumb that you want them.”

She nods and looks down at her knees, keeping her hold on his hand. 

“They wouldn’t...fix me,” she mumbles. “Like, all the things I think that seem ridiculous when I take a step back and really  _ think _ about them would still be there. I’d still be nervous about everything, and I’d overthink, and I’d second guess everything I say.” 

“I don’t think you need to be fixed,” he says, quickly. “And I know all of that. It’s not a cure, it just helps. You explained it already.”

“I know, I know,” she shakes her head. She can’t bring herself to look directly at him when he’s being this  _ nice _ , but out of the corner of her eye, she can see him bite his lip.

“You said you wanted to go to Atlas again,” he says, so gently that the earth breaking apart and swallowing her whole suddenly feels like a welcome possibility. She ducks her head, letting her hair fall in front of her face enough to hopefully hide how red her cheeks probably are. 

“Yeah. I mean. That was stupid, obviously. And nobody said anything, so,” she shrugs. 

“There were just preoccupied,” he says, and she can’t help it—she looks up enough to give him a Look, raising her eyebrows for good measure. He sighs. “Gert, our parents showed up. It was risky this time, and now it’s, like, on their radar.”

“I know,” she says, practically feeling the defensiveness creep into her voice. She lets go of his hand and tries to ignore the way his face drops as she crosses her arms around her stomach, loosely. “It was stupid, I don’t even know why I said it.”

“That’s really, really not what I said,” he sighs. He shifts a little closer to her on the bed, so their thighs are touching. She sighs and gives in, leaning her head against his shoulder. He wraps an arm around her, loosely carding his fingers through her hair. “Maybe we can still get your meds, we just have to find another way.”

“In my room, next to my parents’ room, remember?” she says, a little petulantly.

“No, I know. I just thought…I don’t know, it’s only one bottle at school, right?”

“Yeah, I guess,” she shrugs. “I mean. One bottle’s enough if we’re all going to die in a massive earthquake soon.”

She tries to make it sound like a joke, but she’s pretty sure it just comes out shaky, because he squeezes her shoulder.

“You know your prescription, right?” he asks, and she nods a little against him, frowning. “What if we could grab a prescription pad from somewhere? If we can steal that computer, we can probably grab a prescription pad.

Gert sat up a little, looking at him sharply.

“I’m, like. 90 percent sure that’s a felony.”

He shrugs. “So’s murder, and we’ve already been accused of  _ that _ .”

She stares. He stares back. And then he’s smiling and she’s laughing, really laughing, hard enough for her stomach to hurt a little. He’s laughing too, with or at her or maybe both, but she doesn’t really  _ care _ .

“Don’t do that,” she says, trying to catch her breath, hitting his leg lightly. “Don’t make me laugh when I feel like crying, jerk.”

He raises his eyebrows. “You know that’s a good thing, right? It’s important to me that you know that’s a good thing.”

And that’s what really hits her. 

When it comes down to it, her boyfriend is just really, really good. And awful kind of outweighs good in her life right now, but that’s still something. It’s  _ something _ . Despite herself, she grins at him.

“What?”

“Nothing,” she bites her lip. “You just. Really don’t sound like you’d cheat on me with Eiffel right now,” she whispers, feeling the hysterical giggles bubble up in her chest again. She feels light and heavy all at once.

He frowns. “I told you, I was just getting the key. I  _ wouldn’t _ .”

“I  _ know, _ ” she says, shaking her head. He’s frowning again, so she leans forward and cups his cheek. “That’s not what I meant, not really.”

“Then what did you—”

She cuts him off with a kiss and tries to let it drown everything else out for a minute. He presses a hand to the small of her back, and for a moment she feels steady. It’s not going to last. Chase can’t always be kissing her like this, but even if he  _ could _ , she’s pretty sure all her fears and worries and anxieties would find a way to break through. But right now, with his breath warm against her lips and his fingers tangling through her hair, she tries to cling to that feeling.

It’s not enough. But she wants it to be. 


End file.
